whine and dine.

i recently had lunch with a friend of mine.

we sat across from one another, positioned so that i could see two other tables out of the corners of each eye.

at the table to my left sat a very attractive woman, about 25-30, sitting alone with a glass of white wine, nibbling a humble spinach salad and reading a book.

at the table to my right sat a woman with the same build, same facial features, similar style of clothes and roughly the same age. however, this woman sat spoon-feeding two horrible, rotten kids. before you ask, they were definitely hers as she was constantly threatening them with spankings, withholding lucky charms (who brings cereal in ziploc bags to a restaurant?) and telling them that "their father was not going to be happy when they got home". they were also shrieking "mommy!" every two minutes and running around, much to her embarrassment. (and the restaurant... let's just say it was not the local mcdonald's).

it was right out of the episode of satc where samantha confronts the mother and her noisy child at the five-star restaurant, only to have pesto sauce hurled at her ungaro blazer.

i personally don't understand how or why, in this day and time, a woman of that age would have not one but two children. the options for unplanned pregnancies are always available (sometimes, frighteningly so) and yet women would sooner ruin their early lives by becoming something that most of them are completely unprepared for. you want to bring a perfectly well-behaved child into a nice restaurant--that's fine.

you should be able to tell whether your children are the type that can sit through a meal without throwing crayons and pulling each other's hair.

the whole event reminded me of a really great poem by early feminist writer and poet katherine philips (1632-1664).

a married state

a married state affords but little ease:

the best of husbands are so hard to please.

this in wives' careful faces you may spell,

though they dissemble their misfortunes well.

a virgin state is crowned with much content,

it's always happy as it's innocent.

no blustering husband to create your fears,

no pangs of childbirth to extort your tears,

no children's cries for to offend your ears,

few worldly crosses to distract your prayers.

thus are you freed from all the cares that do

attend on matrimony and a husband too.

therefore, madam, be advised by me:

turn, turn apostate to love's levity.

suppress wild nature if she dare rebel,

there's no such thing as leading apes in hell.